𖤐Welcome to hell𖤐

So, as a bit of a background, at the end of year 2 we had to switch schools since it looked like my current one was going to shut down. This is because the headteacher, who was once able to manage 2 schools, got a back injury and had to choose one (not the one I was at if you couldn't tell). This meant that everyone was moving to either that school or a different one.
Ofc I was very sad about this. My best friend wouldn't be moving to the same school as me and I wouldn't know too many people other than my brother and his friend.

Keep in mind that I can't remember much from the next 2 years:
So, When I got to this new school I started to get bullied and left out of everything. I fell into a deep depression, at 8 years old I wanted to die. Of course I didn't quite understand that I could actually do that, and I was more sad than numb or suicidal in that way, but I just wanted everything to end. Anyway, time for the main story:

One day I realised that I was getting very depressed, and, in typical tism fashion, decided to look into it. I went on youtube searching for videos showing the signs of depression in children and found free depression tests online. Now, I know those tests are unreliable, and I also knew that, which is why I did about 20. They all came out with moderate-severe depression, and looking back on what I culod remember, that was definitely true.
With this newfound information, I went to my mum and told her that I think I have "smiling depression". Instead of even attempting to listen to me, she did nothing to help and told me to stop researching it or there would be consequences. Now I guess she could've thought that the videos were influencing me to act a ceritain way, but depression isn't 'contaigious' in that way. Without my only coping mechanism, I entered a downward spiral and was eventually unable to do anything apart from draw vent art about me in that situation. I'll try to find some and post it here since I probably still ahve the sketchbooks, but it was the normal depressed kid wearing a happy mask sorta stuff.
Eventually I ended up venting to a 'friend' (I'll call him Alex here. Sorry to all Alex's here I'm sure you're amazing, but each anyway) who I told to tell his mum who would then tell my mum so I could move back to the previous school where I was happy.

My mum took me seriously this time and I was able to move back to my old school at the start of year 5. The next 2 years were recovery and then a nice break from the depression, before highschool started...

Anyway so that's how my mental health started going downhill at the ripe old age of 7. I was even doing sh then, just not the cutting kind lmao.